Been AWOL for a bit because I have been so busy with work and life in general, but I'm back and will be catching up with you all soon.
One of the days I have dreaded all my life has finally happened, on Wed 15th October 2008 at 12.05pm my dear granny passed away with myself and my mum by her side.
We had headed off for our October school break holiday, our only holiday this year, excited we were taking the kids to Butlins in Minehead Mon to Fri and meeting with my favourite sister-in-law, brother-in-law and 3 kids, who were going from Fri to Fri. We decided as it's a long way from Glasgow to Minehead to leave on Saturday and spend the weekend where ever we landed, we landed in Stoke-On-Trent and had a great time at the local Splash pool on Sunday, followed by a cosy evening in the Premier Inn watching Mary Poppins. My mum called on the Sunday night to confirm that Granny really 'wasn't good' she had been bedridden for a few months and had been non responsive for more than a week. My main concern at this point was to get my family to Butlins and then I could make my way home, selfish it may seem but there had been a few times we thought 'this is it' and Granny had rallied round, although each time a little poorer. I decided a good nights sleep was in order if I was going to have to travel home in the morning. In my head I thought, I could fly home, hire a car, anything but as long as the kids could get to Butlins. After a phone call to my mum on Monday morning I decided we should continue and headed to the first service station to have our breakfast, it was at that point the obvious came to me, if you want to fly you need i.d. if you want to hire a car you need a driving licence and guess what I had nothing apart from a Costco card and my credit cards, the only option was a train. After the 'what do you mean you carry no i.d.' conversation with the hubby I got a text to say 'not good, can you get a refund on your holiday' from my mum. At this point it was clear we would have to go home. I called her and cried as I watched the sheer disappointment across the kids faces, my daughter cried, but at the same time they said nothing, just knowing it wasn't good.
5 hours and 20 minutes later I was by my Granny's side, she had been on morphine for over an hour. I think I sobbed quietly most of the journey home wondering how I could ask the kids if they wanted to come and say goodbye to their Granny Betty. My mum had gone home to freshen up as she had been there all day after receiving a 'you better come now' call that morning. As we arrived at the home I blurted 'do you want to come and see Granny, she'll just be sleeping' and it literally was a blurt as I imagined the words 'say goodbye to Granny' that would inevitably happen when they were to leave, not surprisingly my daughter burst into tears and they both shook their heads, obviously as children they must have been scared and upset given the public emotion I was displaying. So I went it alone. And she was just sleeping, I spent the next hour saying all the things I wanted to say, tears and snotters all over the place but I had my time and my space and it was my Granny and I could cry if I wanted to. My mum later joined me and we cried a little more. Given her stable state we decided to go home, reassured the home staff would call if there was any change. We went back to the home on the Tuesday and she was definitely worse it really was a matter of time so we spent the whole day talking, crying and believe it or not laughing, reminiscing, thinking what my Granny would say the state we were in. Her favourite words were don't cry!! We stayed into the early hours and again as she had remained stable all day went home to rest, returning again on Wednesday. I arrived at 11.20am and at 12.05pm she took her final breath, it was a blessing.
God Bless you Granny and may you rest in peace - I love you. x