Thursday, 21 October 2010

How things change

We went to Butlins last October and I decided it would be the decision making holiday - would I continue in business or would I give it up?

No decision was made as I went into relaxation mode and tried to forget about real life. My problem wasn't so much would I give it up it was what would I do? What could I do? I had more or less made my mind up that I did not want to continue working alone and in those baltic premises. I had thought I may find a part time job and continue with the business part time so the search for a part time job started in December 2010 and I plodded along.

On the 29th December 2010 the hubby and I took the kids into Glasgow to spend some Christmas money, we decided to go mad and have a pub lunch, instead of the usual McDonalds or Pizza Hut. I was becoming intolerant of people who called me on my mobile and stopped me in the street to ask about embroidery or school uniforms, when it gets to that stage you have to move on. As we sat enjoying a family meal my mobile phone rang and I rejected the call, it rang again and once more I rejected the call, when it wrung for the third time I answered it with a rather short HELLO! It was my neighbour at the unit telling me that I had a burst pipe in the unit and the water was p?$%ing out of the door and the roller shutter and it been like that for a few days. The poor kids were uprooted from their lunch and typically we were at one end of Glasgow and the car was parked at the other!

We arrived at the unit to be ankle deep in cold water, the mains pipe going into the water tank had frozen and burst away from the tank and was pouring clean water right through the toilet and cupboard ceiling.

You know it cracks me up, nobody could get a hold of me because they were phoning the shop phone and funnily enough I wasn't there! But the boy from the garage had been at my house to collect my car once, even the police couldn't trace me, they finally got my mobile number from my website.

I feel sick even just going over it again, but lets just say things happen for a reason and I believe that was one of those things.

An insurance claimed followed, talk about incompetent, if you were relying on them to get back into business you could forget it.

It was the coldest months ever and was I glad I had a flooded unit and couldn't got into those premises I would have died of frostbite, so I set about making an office in my converted loft. Did I tell you I had converted my loft, I'm not sure I must go back and check my posts!! January was fine, was still trading with the help of a local embroidery company but by the end of January I was starting top think OMG I'll have to get a job as I still had the shop bills but not very much income. So the serious job hunting began.....

to be continued

Monday, 18 October 2010


It has been 10 months since I last posted. I hang my head in shame! It will now take me months to catch up on what everyone else has been up to.

So what has prompted me to post?

Recently on the world of facebook after a period of absence even from facebook a 'friend' of mine said - and I quote 'U been quiet lately - she's like the wind! All ok?' Aaarrrrgggghhhhhh, mild panic set in, someone knows my blogging name, OMG my deepest thoughts and feeling are written here, my whole life displayed openly, do I bring the whole blog down? What to do!!

Now it wouldn't have been so bad if it was a life long friend or a close friend, I would have perhaps deleted one post, everything else would be known by close friends. This friend is a relatively new friend, perhaps by about 3 years now, but we have known each other for over 18 years. We became friends when she entered my shop for the second time to purchase nursery uniforms for her son and I bravely announced 'you know who I am?!' and we chated for about an hour, perhaps it was more, and to my surprise she was really, really nice and I felt like a pure bitch. Although we had known of each other all these years, we had never spoken, although I'm sure if I had taken to time to speak to her we may actually have become friends a long time ago. Perhaps she thinks differently??

After reading over some of my posts I decided that I actually was quite proud of my blog and that if she was brave enough to admit she had been reading it then I was brave enough to leave it. It made me miss blogging and want to post again. I actually thought I had been missed when I logged back on to find 42 comments - only to realise they are in chinese writing and in poor taste so I will have to delete them lol.

Now that I am 38 years old and have 2 children of my own, I am bitterly disappointed in myself that I was not able to be more grown-up 19 years ago, however, I am not responsible for another adults actions and I did what I thought was right at the time. I consider my friend to be a far better person than I am and I am grateful this person considers me her friend.

Over to you my friend.........

Friday, 18 December 2009

Self Employment V Employment

As I sit here in my cold industrial unit, did I say cold, I actually meant BALTIC! I wonder, is there more to life? I have decided that yes there is, there must be.

Setting up in business was a great idea, it not only got me out of working in a call centre where I hated working, mainly due to one individual. I had been there for nearly 11 years and that was long enough, it also meant working during school hours and that suits my family just nicely. It is a small business but I have built up many contacts and a good customer base. In year one I made a loss, year 2 broke even, year 3 made a profit, year 4 I still have to put together the account and year 5, well I don't need accounts to work out that I have not made a profit. There are years when you have to lay out more money and don't get it back quickly, things like ties and special striped knitwear all have to be bought in bulk but can take years to sell. This year has been one of those years. I also noticed a cut back with the spending in parents, people who normally buy 3 polo shirts and 3 sweatshirts only bought two of each, that doesn't sound like much but that is an average cut back of £16.50 and you times that by 100 + customers and you are talking £1650 or so.

How long do you carry on without earnings before you admit defeat, let your loyal customers down. I am not ready to give up and I think that next year will be better on account of the fact I will have paid off a loan and binned some major advertising costs making me £400 a month better off. However, that does not help my current financial situation. Normally by now I have pre-ordered all my summer stock to arrive embroidered with the school logo's at the beginning of June, this year I have not, if I continue it will be an ordering service like it was at the beginning, I will carry no stock, apart from socks, tights, skirts etc which I sell on eBay anyway.

I am hoping to put the business on a back burner and get a part time job where it is warm, you get paid and you have the company of other people. I used to think there would be nothing worse than going back to work for other people but I am quickly changing my view.

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

Where has the time gone!!

Where have I been, perhaps you wondered, perhaps you missed me or perhaps you didn't care! I would like to give you a fabulous story about where I've been and how I'm having a great time, but honestly - I found Facebook, went to Fuerteventura for 2 weeks in the summer, sold school uniforms and went to Butlins in the October school week.

That's it!!

I have neglected my blogging for Facebook and now I need to pour my heart out where do I go, to my many friends on Facebook, of course not, I don't actually want anyone who knows me to know my business, but I will pour my heart out to complete an utter strangers!

Breaking in gently before I rant and will work my way around hopefully catching up on what some of you have been up to. xx

Tuesday, 17 March 2009

Wii Fit

I'm back on track after yesterday.

This morning I managed 10 minutes freestyle stepping which means I can watch the TV and step to the beat on the Wii remote, managed to answer the phone which luckily was near me and still step. Go me! Then did a long distant jog which is probably about 5 mins and then managed the 2 minute hula hooping. 20 minutes of exercise clocked up before coming to work. I am the woman. Last week I could only do one of these activities before feeling like I might pass out.

Still haven't had a packet of crisps or a chocolate bar/chocolate biscuit and I'm not really missing them now, it has only been 6 days but it just shows how your cravings subside, although I have eaten my way through a massive box of Rice Krispies instead. I still feel tired when I wake up but then I have had a sore throat and pressure headache for a few days so perhaps that will go eventually and I'll get out of bed like the girl in the Adios advert (I think it's for Adios!!), only I won't have wee short knickers and a vest top on, I'll be the one with the fleecy pj's and bed socks skipping down the street.

Friday, 13 March 2009

I'm on the top of the world.

'Today I feel normal'

It's a strange saying but that is how I feel, normal, quite uplifted and happy, well not so much happy but content, at peace with the world. I get very few days like this, I very often have an underlying sadness which I've spoken about before and when it lifts I feel good.

Perhaps it's the change in the diet and the little bit of exercise. I haven't had a packet of crisps or a bit of chocolate since I tried on those bikinis and I have cut out my breakfast & supper toast and replaced it with cereal, with a sprinkle of sugar as I might murder someone without a little sugar in my diet. I know sugar is not something that should be taken while trying to improve ones figure but I know from experience it is the stodge that makes the belly.

I did 20 minutes on the Wii Fit this morning, 10 mins stepper and 3 minutes hula hooping and then I had a few games of the table tilt, couldn't resist and it's all in the aid of fitness, I love the Wii Fit. Couldn't face a wee jog on the spot after the hula, I used to be great at the hula but these love handles must be affecting my swivel. Thought I should vary the exercise daily and the good thing about the Wii Fit is being able to weigh yourself and I am lighter on the Wii Fit than I am on the house scales, but then it's not actually about weight on this occasion it's about being firmer and more toned and about others on holiday looking at me and saying 'Wow, I wish I was so toned and sexy and had those huge pert boobs and flat belly' and making heads turn..... and not having people thinking 'oh look she must be on a second marriage with older children and now she's having another' or 'bet that wasn't planned!'

Hope the motivation keeps up because I like it and the world is a brighter place when you are 'normal' I have held my head high, I have smiled at people and they have smiled back, I had a laugh with a man in the queue at the post office. Isn't it usually the case when we feel like this that something comes BANG and you're brought back down to earth.

Thursday, 12 March 2009

When are you due?

We went on holiday to Fuertaventura in June 2007 and we are returning in June 2009. Now in 2007 it had been 5 years since we had been abroad and we had to buy everything, holiday clothes, cases, swim wear, renew the passports - everything. I did not have one item of summer clothing, namely due to the fact I sell school uniforms and work all summer in a cool unit in jeans and a polo shirt. It was not cheap. I bought new white bras so that when the straps showed they would be pristine as there is nothing worse than a greyish bra on show, especially if you play these games in the hotel where the kids run back to the entertainer with items such as straws, shoes, socks, bras, I like my kids to win you understand!

Anyway I have this issue which costs me more money than most and that is my bra size, I am very thin under the bust, taking a 30" bra, however with that comes the hindrance of FF cups, I can't just nip to Asda and buy a bra at £5.00, my bra's have to be Clyde built and cost in the region of £20-£24, so you can imagine a couple of new bras not to mention the bikini which has to be under wired to stop my boobs from falling out underneath and you're spending a hundred pounds easily. So in 2007 I was like the poor relation and only had 2 bikini's with me compared to the then 7 year old who had about 5. So this year now that I have an array of summer clothes and only need to buy some new tops and of course kit out the growing kids, maybe some new shoes and then there's the case that will have to be replaced as it broke last time, anyway now that I have summer clothes I thought I would treat myself to a couple more bikinis and of course the white bras need replacing. I went to my favourite place...... eBay, where I can get Panache separates at competitive prices, so I ordered myself a fuchsia pink bikini, a jade and pink halter neck bikini and a tankini top with hidden bra, that matches the bottoms that I already have, sorted.

The bikini's arrived and I was excited to try them on, getting in the holiday spirit 3 months in advance. Well there is nothing like trying on a bikini to start you on a healthy eating and exercise regime! I have now and have always had a rather nice pregnant shaped belly, about 5 months I'd say and comes from eating far too much bread/wheat. When ever I shed my layers of winter clothing and wear a tight fitting top which shows off my voluptuous bust, clings to my thin torso and then bang, out sits this belly. When are you due, you're such a lovely shape? one very nice lady asked me. My response was polite but none the less embarrassing for the other party! And you know I am ok with strangers thinking I am pregnant because that's exactly the shape I am. However, after pulling out the full length mirror to have a look at myself in the new bikinis I realised I have also gone and gotten myself a pair of love handles, my daughter well she just laughed at the sight of her mother in a bikini and trailed with me to see what the hubby and 11 year old son thought, the hubby God bless him was just happy to see a bit of flesh and my son, he raised his eyebrows with a hint of 'Oh my God' in his eyes. I was then glad I bought the tankini at least it'll cover me up a bit, that's a laugh, took me and the 9 year old about 5 minutes to get me into it. I'm sot sure if you're all familiar with these but they have a mess lining which forms the fully under wired bra and have a bra style clip inside at the back for secure fastening, no chance of wobbling about in this baby. Being a 30" fit it's great but that's equivalent to about a size 6 and trying to get that over these knockers wasn't the easiest, we decided the best plan of action was to haul the bra bit down first, done and what a sight, turquoise mess covered massive mamma's, fastened the back, done and now all to do was get the rest of the top over the mamma's so with the daughter pulling down the back and me at the front we managed, being this tight should keep the belly in, POP not a chance just emphasized all the thin bits and made the belly even more pregnant pod shaped!

So in disgust with immediate effect I will not eat 7 slices of bread a day, all those cakes I have eaten on those lonely winter nights have definitely had an effect and must be stopped and then of course there's the chocolate, I don't drink, unless I'm going out which is rare at the moment, so the hubby will buy himself some beers and buy me chocolate to have with my nice cup of tea, oh no, no more, I will not let this belly take over my life. I am fit, I am healthy, I have a flat stomach that is going to be my positive mindset for the near future.

I only started yesterday and even managed 15 minutes on the Wii fit this morning before coming to work, 5 minutes step and 10 minutes jog on the spot, nearly passed out when I finished as I have done no physical exercise for months and months, obviously, think perhaps I might need to do some sit ups, or if you know of any other painless methods for achieving a flat stomach please do share with the groups

I may take some pictures!! If I can face it.