Monday, 27 August 2007

Just for a laugh.

I got this in an email and thought I would share it...

How to stop unwanted sales calls & junk mail

(1) Just three words.....

The three little words: "Hold On, Please..."

Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that sales would practically grind to a halt. Then when you eventually hear BT's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset .... You have efficiently completed your task. These three little words could help eliminate telephone soliciting.

(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end? This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone. This technique is then used to determine the best time of day for a "real" salesperson to call back and get someone at home. What you can do after answering: If you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible. Apparently, the machine believes it has dialled a fax number and removes your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer!!!

(3) When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope. Most of these come with postage-prepaid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular postage "IF" and when they are returned. It costs them nothing if you throw them away! In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-prepaid return envelopes? Send an advert for your local chimney sweeper to American Express ... They might need one! Send a pizza coupon to HSBC ... in case their canteen packs up. You get the idea. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them back their blank application form ... After all, it is their form! If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you return. You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing! It still costs them, and it is their envelope after all .. You are just returning it!!!! The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their own junk back in the post, but folks .... we need to OVERWHELM them, in order to stop them. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail and best of all they're paying for it ... Twice! Let's help keep Royal Mail busy. Since the Royal Mail are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, let's help them so they will not need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea!

If enough people follow these tips, it will work ---- maybe you'll get very little junk mail anymore.

10 comments:

Elsie Button said...

ha ha ha ha I LOVE IT!! What brillaint ideas - genius - i will do all of them - can't wait to get my own back! thanks!

Self employed mum said...

Hi Elsie

Thanks for dropping by again. I too will do them all, together we'll stop the calls and the mail!

Frog in the Field said...

This is brilliant, I am just scouting through my rubbish basket to send flyers from Somerfield (ugh!)to Lloyds TSB.
My husband once told a BT salesperson in India that we didn't have a phone. It totally flummoxed the man on the other end.

Self employed mum said...

Hi Frog

Thanks for dropping in, my daughter went armed to the post box with 6 empty envelopes last night, only because I had no junk mail as it had been recycled. I giggled like a naughty school girl and my daughter thought this was great being sent to the post box with 6 letters. We didn't tell the children what we were doing! It didn't feel morally right.

Sparx said...

Argh, you know, I used to do that but I stopped. Partly because I started working in the industry years ago. It's getting better, I think but it needs more policing.

I love the tip about the number sign (you know, I can't find one on this mac keyboard. Odd). Will definitely use that.

Good one!

Self employed mum said...

Sparx I still have a wee guilty feeling when I think about the 6 empty envelopes but at the same time quite daring! I'm such a saddo, normally a very law abiding, honest person, I'm living on the edge!

Manic Mother Of Five said...

Love it!

Have subscribed to the TPS (telephone preference service) and this stopped all my sales calls almost immediately. Did the same for junk mail. Again, works a treat. Saves having to shred or recycle piles of unwanted loans or life insurance (husband used to get loads of them and started to worry I'd put a contract on him!

Self employed mum said...

MMOF thanks for dropping in. I too have registered for TPS but I didn't know there was one for junk mail - tell me more...

Iota said...

Fun fun fun...

Self employed mum said...

Hey Iota, nice to see you. My kids are getting plenty of exercise running to the post box with empty envelopes! I'm still waiting to use the 'hold on' one for the next seller on the phone he he he