- the bed is no longer clean, I could solve this by putting down a towel, but if I was to put down the towel in advance the hubby might get the wrong idea, I could wait til the action starts but then at what point in the proceedings do you announce 'Wait til I get the towel'
- I am no longer clean, meaning I have to rewash in the morning and that is not on the morning schedule. I have no solution!
- It keeps me awake for another 30 minutes, not the action, it's over in about 5 minutes, 3 minutes to talk me into it and 2 minutes to do the deed itself. Obviously the stimulation wakes me up and I find myself gibbering like a budgie, meanwhile hubby has rolled over and is snoring. Clearly the relief lets him sleep peacefully.
I am quite shy and inexperienced when it comes to sex, I have at the age of 35 only had 2 sexual partners, one of which I have been married to for 11 years but spent the last 16 years with. Every now and again I think I must make an effort and buy some books or perhaps go mad and get a pornographic movie, which I might add I have never watched in my life, but any of my friends would have no problem providing me with such materials, I'm sure they feel sorry for hubby and would be delighted I am taking an interest. But where do you find the time and the privacy? I did once book us into a hotel for an overnight stay with the intention of spending hours discovering each others bodies, we had a little quickie in the afternoon, went to the pub, had dinner, went back to the room and hubby feel asleep watching a film! We then sleep so late we had to get up and leave the room immediately.
Why I talked today, I have discovered www.lindystars.blogspot.com where she talks about sex, at first I was embarrassed, reading without comment, however now I am openly commenting, she is hilarious and made me realise sex is rather funny, in fact I have never laughed out loud so much for a long time. Although I am a little prudish I have no problem answering my children's awkward questions, my son is 10 and has started talking about sex and his peAnis, we did correct him but I think it ruined his day, he thought it was PeAnis because you pea-ed out of it, we then proceeded to talk at great length about the spelling and difference between pea, pee and penis, tuns out him and his friends have been looking up 'dirty' words in the dictionary.
Anyway I am the proud owner of a rabbit to which my friends use as a great example to convert any female who doesn't own a battery operated implement - even Nicola's got one they jest. Obviously my reputation proceeds me.
So today I would like to leave you with this.
THE LORDS PRAYER
My vibro, which brings me heaven.
Rabbit be thy name.
Til kingdom come, thy makest me cum, on earth with eyes on heaven.
Give me this day my daily thrill & forgive me my screams, as I forgive flat batteries.
Lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from frustration.
For thine is the rotation, the power and the buzzing.
Forever and even.