Rain rain go away.......

I have just read a post from a fellow blogger about the rain which brought this little song into my head;

rain, rain go away
come again another day
Barneys friends all want to play
rain, rain go away

I was subjected to Barney (the dinosaur from our imagination) for years between my son and my daughter. I knew all the words at one point and remember vividly bursting into a Barney song at work one day!

It has been a long time since a little song like this has appeared from the back of my mind. It made me smile. Brings back the memory of the delinquents as babies/toddlers and increases the longing to have another child.

In reality another child is not practical, we have 3 bedrooms so nowhere to fit a baby, the delinquents I have are already 10 & 7, practically adults, I work mostly full time, I complain I have no time for myself and there is the small inconvenience of hubby's vasectomy. His doing not mine. I live save in the knowledge that I am still fertile!

I loved my time at home with the children, I was fortunate I worked in the evenings when hubby was home and got to spend all day with the children doing the walks, toddler groups etc. They did of course do all the things a mother wants to see when I was at work! I miss my babies they grow up to quick with their wee lives wished away. I'm sure every mother has said these words:-

I wish/can't wait until they can/have;

• first tooth
• say mum
• crawl
• walk
• go to the big toilet

then;

• the first tooth wobbles and can't wait until it falls out
• they say mum so many times we want to change our names
• they crawl and we realise it's fun for a few days and the novelty wears off, we want them to walk
• they walk and we realise we have to use the words NO and ah ah and don't touch, much to the baby's shock
• they use the big toilet and it was so much easier when they were on the potty not hogging the toilet for hours waiting just in case a poo comes!

Ah the memories......

Go with the urge

On Sunday my son had his football tournament and we were also supplying the bouncy castle for entertainment. My husband is the football coach and left promptly at 7am to help set up goals and boundaries and whatever else is required for a football tournament. I have never been a supporter of football and don't feel the need to attend and watch my son as his dad is always there, however, I make a special effort in the nice weather and of course for the tournaments. The first game the team were disastrous and were beaten 4-0, the second game they won 1-0, beating the team that every one else was loosing to and who ended up winning the tournament, how ironic, the boys were devastated. The final game was the most important to the boys simply because a boy in their class plays for this team and regularly taunts them as his team is better, which technically is true, but riles the boys, they were geared up, determined, motivated and scored within the first 2 minutes, there I was on the side lines jumping up and down like a mad women. I managed to keep track of which goals we were aiming for, but myself and a fellow mother decided we require a few more lessons in football lingo and thank goodness they are to young for the offside rule to apply.



We stayed after our tournament finished to give support to the older teams and to supervise the bouncy castle, by this time it had poured about 3 times and we were 'drookit' I had taken my daughter to a friends house at lunch time as she was bored stiff. The sun had come out, the castle had dried of and we decided it was time to pack up and leave as there was a presentation later for the boys, followed by a disco in the evening for the parents. Just as we started to leave the heavens opened, putting away a castle in the pouring rain is a nightmare, the castle was flat (and wet) and we folded it in 3, we then walk up it to remove the air, this is were my son does his bit, he came running up and dived and slid along it screeching with delight. It was at that moment I had a mad urge to do it too, I was so wet I was passed caring so there I went took my runny and dived, but I didn't slide I just landed there and laughed and laughed, I was having a mad moment. My friend always says 'you must go with your urges' that was one of these moments. I then drove my son and the castle home and left hubby to finalise his football stuff. Got in, stripped, dried and into pj's while my clothes dried in the tumble dryer, my husband then returned and decided we would be as well taking the castle out and returning it to its shed, since we were wet anyway. He obviously hadn't noticed I was now completely dry! Clothes on, castle away, clothes back off again, quick cup of tea, dry clothes back on and off we went to the presentation.

3/4 of an hour after arriving it finally got underway. All the boys were shouted out individually to be presented with medals from the local councillor, who in my mind was rather rude, as he shook the boys hands he was looking all round him. I wanted to stop the proceedings and tell him how wet I had been, how many clothes I had been in, the least he could do was look at the boys, it was after all only 1 hour out of his life. It was then hubby's turn to introduce his team, I don't think he has ever stood in front of so many people to speak apart from his wedding speech, but he did well. When my son was called I let out a nice big cheer, not quite sure if he was embarrassed but I didn't care, he is my son and I'm proud of him.

We then proceeded back up the road, had a Chinese for quickness, washed and changed again. Dropped son of at babysitter where daughter had been all day and went the disco. It was a shame, there was a very poor turn out, must've been about 30 people but we had a good laugh.

There is a final tournament this Sunday, but luckily we just have to arrive, no castle, no presentation and no disco. I'm praying for sun!

Mother knows best

Had the end of my week all planned, placed order on Wednesday via email for Thursday delivery, that way I could get stuck in with embroidery on Thursday, Friday and Monday, even though it's a bank holiday weekend I don't mind working when I have loads to do and after all the quicker I get the garments embroidered and out, the quicker the money comes in!



My car was due it's first MOT and was going into the garage on Thursday morning, I popped into the unit, dropped off my lunch, diary etc and took the car up to the garage, despite the driving rain and gale force winds and being offered a lift by the mechanic I decided I would walk, I had an umbrella and a waterproof jacket and it would be good exercise. It is after all only a 15 minutes walk. I then had an issue with my lace which became undone and of course got soaked on the ground, I found it highly impossible to manage my handbag, keep my umbrella up and tie my lace at the same time. I crouched behind a wheelie bin, outside a pub for shelter, holding my brolly between my head and my shoulder, trying not to blow over in the process. By the time I reached the unit I really was feeling quite ill, that's how unfit I am. I was not breathless, nor sore (well no more sore than usual) I just felt strange, more a feeling I couldn't wait to get inside, back in my safe environment.



At 4.10 I realised the order hadn't been delivered, it turns out the suppliers hadn't received the email and the order now wouldn't go until Friday and as it's a bank holiday today, the delivery will now arrive tomorrow. That's when I decided I would take Friday off and spend it with my family. We decided to return the clothes my son had got for his birthday that were to big and the bikini my friend bought me that just didn't cover my boobs, although the hubby liked it. I would have prefered to go with just the kids, but hubby insisted on coming along and it's not that he minds trailing the shops, but he still thinks after 11 years of marriage I will go into a shop pick up the first thing I see and buy it and all us women know, we pick it up, put it back, go round the whole shop and go back to the first thing we saw, it's inbuilt, we can't help it! However having been window shopping on my recent optician visit I knew exactly what I was going to replace the bikini with. The only choice I gave him was pink or white (nice holiday skirt) he choose white. Lucky because that too was my choice.



We went to Sports World where the kids were getting new trainers and we had tshirts to change, my son picked a lovely pair of cropped Umbro trousers, in white! Hubby dealt with his trainers 'what size is he?' !!! I dread to think what would go on in my house if I were not around. He choose trainers, well actually hubby choose what he thought would be acceptable, son tried them on, hubby checked toes while son sat, I informed him the child had to be standing to have the size checked, he sighed, he checked, they were fine. We then went to Primark and looked at more cropped trousers, son turned up his nose and without saying anything I knew. He has reached double figures now and wants the named brands, Umbro, Reebok etc. so far he has never bothered with clothes and all of a sudden Primark was not acceptable. However with my persuasive technique I assured him we would go back and get more sports things, so he willingly choose some trousers. Of course we will be back sooner than I thought because guess what, the trainers don't fit. When we got home he tried them on and couldn't get the left foot on. 'Did you try both trainers on?' I said to hubby and son knowing fine well that would never have crossed their minds! and he says I go on. At least I get the job done right, first time. Men!

Complements Indeed

Spent a great day yesterday arranging more business, love it when I'm busy, I get a great buzz when my brain is working overtime. Felt great until I asked my husband how I looked and a sweeping statement blew me away, let me take you back to last week, I wear glasses have done permanently since I had my son and discovered I couldn't find vital things like the dummy without my glasses. I also use daily disposable contact lenses for swimming and going out, I usually have 60 at a time and they last me about a year due to the lack of social activity when ones husband works constant night shift. I had been bothered with my eyes, went to the opticians and decided rather then buy new glasses I would try the monthly contact lenses you keep in permanently. Well of course nothing is ever straight forward, the right one was highly irritable and had to be replaced, leaving me with one bloodshot eye and 2 very heavy eyes while I get accustomed to the new thicker lenses. I had to remove them every night for the first week and then sleep with them before my visit to the optician yesterday, all well, optician has confirmed no concerns and I should continue using them, eyes have improved not just as heavy and certainly no longer bloodshot. As we sat for dinner last night I discussed with hubby all about the optician and how I was going to get my hair cut as it was a bit messy and how I felt better, I discussed how there are loads of mothers who go to work all glamed up and because I work in a cold industrial unit I wear vests, yes vests! I work with threads and clothes which create dust therefore I wear older clothes, certainly not glamorous blah blah blah and how I always felt I looked like shite and 'did he think I looked better?' and his response 'you just look like shite without the glasses!' WELL just as well I had had a good day and was not pre menstrual.

This coming from the man who sat there unshaven, requiring a haircut within the next 30 mins from moi the multi tasker and a spot of Oil of Olay wouldn't go amiss for those laughter lines either. But I held my head up high and carried on, with the attitude of I'll show you in a few years when I am a highfalutin business women, all glamorous and no longer wearing vests!

Tired Children......

Well I made it through the week, reached 35 and I'm still breathing. Age is just a number, so they say, for me it's a huge step closer towards 40. I'm to young to be 35.



I'm surprised my delinquents made it through the week, they were subjected to late nights every night, late nights and my children just don't mix. They become cheeky, rude and down right defiant and of course I hear my mothers voice ringing in my head saying 'it's not good to keep them up late, you were like that when you were kept up' and for a split second I feel guilt, but the guilt soon turns to anger when my son does his 'Kevin the teenager' act and huffs at everything I say. Yesterday after his birthday sleepover I had to stop myself hitting him on the top of the head with a comb, on raising it in a threatening action I suddenly remembered his 2 friends were standing at the door waiting to leave, I immediately regained my public mummy image for fear they would tell their mothers what a nutter I was. They had been up until about 1.30 that morning so his mood was indeed my fault.



We dropped the scarred boys of at their own homes and I'm sure they gave their own mothers the same grief that I was enduring. We headed off to my friends house, children played fine, perfect angels. Then it all went pear shaped, my son started complaining his eyes were sore, my son who cries wolf so many times we practically ignore any complaints of soreness and even if we do investigate he is such a woose we have screams of 'don't touch' 'it's ok' In fairness he had been complaining for over a week about something in his eye, he had finally given in and let me look as soon as I mentioned casualty, there was nothing, we assumed an eye lash would work it's way out. So here he was my 10 year old wailing, by this time both eyes were streaming, he was sobbing uncontrollably and wanted to go home. My friend mentioned hay fever and discussed the symptoms with the wailing boy, I then realised 'the cat' he has never been in contact with a cat, mainly because he's scared and there are no cats near us, apart from the 3 that the next door neighbour has just got!! We went directly to Tesco and bought medication to treat allergies. Poor boy got up this morning and had huge bags under his bloodshot eyes, I immediately called for appointment with the doctor who confirmed he indeed has an allergy, presumably to cats! We have to continue with the antihistamine and when he gets better subject him to a cat and if the reaction happens again we'll know for sure, not my suggestion but the doctors.

Business wise last week and today have been great, all the enquiries have all come to actual orders, at the same time. So I'll be manic for the next few weeks, that'll pass the time nicely while I wait for my holiday to come.

Time for chocolate to end the day and prepare me for the next, with of course a wee cup of tea!

Business women to harrassed mother

Why is it when everything is going great I await something disastrous to happen. I've had a great day and a great weekend and as I sit here I wait, I expect, I anticipate something to knock the wind out of my sails before bed time, solution perhaps is to retreat to bed immediately!

Today I came to the strong decision that I am a business woman and I can set the terms of my business. Due to cash flow issues because people do not pay their bills on time I am now taking 50% deposits on all orders with balance payable on collection.. I have taken on 3 new customers in the last few days, one on Friday and 2 today, all with the new terms, no objections, immediately solving cash flow issue. Sorted.

A friend of mine who ran an embroidery company from her garage was selling her equipment and returning to full time work due to family circumstances. She kindly referred one of her
returning customers on to me , I discussed prices with the customer to see if I could match the prices they had previously paid, only to discover they were paying more than I would have quoted and therefore agreed to match the prices. Felt good, making more profit and proved I should go in with higher prices that can always be reduced. I tend to make things cheaper to try and get the business. Lesson learned.

Left meeting with new client at 2.50pm to become harassed mother of two dealing with swimming lessons, 1st lesson 3.30-4 for son, while daughter plays with best friends 4 year old daughter. We then have 30 mins before daughter has her lesson 4.30-5, big sigh, 30 mins of peace and quiet, alone with son, 9 year old boy who will hit double figures on Friday, so much easier to spend time with, doesn't skip madly in leisure centre, while harassed mother apologises to passers by who have stopped to allow the Tasmanian devil whirl by, or has to be picked up after spinning continually before hurting something. Once the Tasmanian devil was in bed tonight we cuddled up to watch Eastenders, 'taz' then came down to get her bobbles out, her question to me, why is HE sitting like that, you're my mum! My son, the kind, caring, sensitive soul without hesitation moved over to let her in, what a lovely moment, a split second of togetherness, just the 3 of us. I then whipped 'taz' back to bed to allow my son some undivided attention. I know it won't be long before he thinks its unacceptable to cuddle ones mother, even alone, behind closed doors so I'm hanging on to these moments.

Feel good factor

Feeling great today. Apart from the cold which is still lingering I generally feel more enthusiastic about everything. Friends son has taken another 200 leaflets off my hands because he enjoyed delivering them so much, actually I think it's more to do with the money he gets paid!

I have a busy week ahead, a friend that I met at anti-natal classes with my oldest is coming over on Saturday afternoon with her children and I invited her to stay for a bite to eat, the bouncy castle is out on Sunday, we have parents evening at our school at which I am present as both a parent and a uniform supplier on Tuesday and Wednesday, I celebrate my 35th birthday on Thursday (although I'm not old enough to be 35!) and our 11th wedding anniversary, my son celebrates his 10th birthday on Friday. If your maths is good you'll have worked out I spent my 1st wedding anniversary and 25th birthday in labour. That was an interesting day, with the nice midwife who kept telling me to hold on and give the child it's own birthday! I started the pushing process at 11.10pm and I had read the books, this part took anywhere between 20 mins and 45 mins so I was having this baby on the 17th whether it pleased the midwife or not. But what did I know at 1.08am on the 18th Lee Daniel came into the world weighing 7lbs 2oz - 2 hours it didn't say that in the book!! Nor did I expect a wee baby, I had put on 2.5 stones!
Anyway, the school is holding a talent show on Friday night so we are going to that, football as usual on Saturday morning, taking Lee and 2 friends to see Spiderman 3 in the afternoon and the friends are staying for a sleepover, finally on Sunday we are going to see my good friend Jane who is kindly donating all the clothes her children have grown out of and since my daughter changes about 4 times a day these are gratefully received. Oh and we might manage lunch for our anniversary!

Anyway because I have so much on this has motivated me no end, gutted Rebecca's room on Wednesday night, last night I gutted my bedroom cupboard, which ment I could move all my work 'stuff' in there out of the conservatory. Tonight I will actually be able to get in and clean. It's funny how my mind works, I have nothing on, I do nothing, the moment I have so much on I start to gut cupboards. I blame the hubby, when he is on dayshift we sit and watch tele, but when he's out at night I get on great, although I've been up until 1am on Wednesday and 12 last night so I'm a tad sleepy today. But I'm at peace with the world.

Hubby has also confirmed as from Monday he will be on constant nightshift until we go our holidays, 7 nights, 12 hour shifts. Financial satisfaction!

Prayers and missing Madeleine

I have just been reading todays news and the update on little Madeleine McCann. So many thoughts run through my head, is she safe, after so many days missing, I hope so, but I can't answer that. I am not a regular visitor to the church, I was brought up church of Scotland, fell away when I was 16, meet my 'hubby' who is roman catholic, married in catholic church and children are being brought up catholic with me tagging along. But, I do pray every night, every night since I had my children, my gifts from God and I'm selfish in my praying I pray for me and mine, but last night I prayed for Madelaine and her family.

I can't imagine what her family are going through and yet I can't help question why her parents left their children alone in an apartment? Is it just me who thinks this is unthinkable. They give you safety deposit boxes so that your documents and money are safe, you wouldn't leave your money lying about in your apartment but it's ok to leave your children. Even checking on them regularly, kidnapping probably never crossed their minds, but what about fire. I assume they had locked the door to keep them safe. Nobody would know they were there, they couldn't have got out.

I heard mum on the TV saying please don't scare her. Who knows what she has gone through so far but I think being lifted from your bed by a stranger and finding there is no-one there you trust to help you the most frightening thought. And the thoughts of her screaming for her mum. Last night as well as praying, I cried.

I am at a loss, I don't like to judge, but I'll never understand.

I will continuing praying.

Husbands, ironing and OCD

My husband has returned back to nightshift much to my delight - as per the previous post. As hubby was about today to look after the delinquents I went to work, yes on a bank holiday.

The cold germ has got a grip of me but I managed to drag myself out of bed. Hubby and said delinquents dropped me off at work as the bouncy castle was going out to a friend today and hubby needed the car. I couldn't expect him to humf the bouncy castle, blower, mat, pegs, ground sheet and hammer and of course the weans half a mile round the corner, that might be pushing it.

I did my whole 4 hours at work when hubby and son returned to collect me, he confirmed my daughter was playing with her friend and as I mother I felt the need to ask if he had informed the friends mother that he had come to collect me, I was confronted with the sarcastic answer of 'no, I just came over and didn't bother!' I should know by now he is nearly 39 and perfectly capable of looking after a 7 year old and a 9 year old for 4 hours.

We returned home and was meet by freshly ironed piles of clothing in the living room. I was delighted as the ironing was ridiculous, my immediate reaction was to say 'thanks' but I stopped myself, does he thank me when I do the washing, the ironing, the cleaning etc, etc. so that was exactly what I said 'I want to say thank you but nobody thanks me!!' maybe the fact that I didn't say thank you means he won't do it again - who knows. I then proceeded to put the ironing away much to my annoyance, nothing was folded the way it fits into the drawers which means I have to refold it. I have already decided I have slight OCD where everything has to be my way e.g. nobody can fill the dishwasher to the max the way I can, or indeed the way I like it, nobody hangs things in the wardrobe the right way, my sister-in-law jokes about me being like the man in Sleeping with the Enemy where the towels are neat and the food tin labels face the front, perfect sense if you ask me. The problem is I try to change the hubby when infact him and delinquents couldn't care less if the drawers were messy and the tins didn't face the front and as for the towels we are lucky if they hang at all.

Credit Card Charges

First step came yesterday. I received my 1st credit card statements back (Bank of Scotland)and have calculated £196 charges over the last 5 years. Today I will proceed to the next step and ask for them back!

I am very pleased with the quick response. There was no £10 fee sent nor was it requested. Barclaycard on the other hand have confirmed they will send the information, but on receipt of £10 payment, I will send that today and see how quickly they respond.

1 credit card and 2 bank accounts to go.

Lazy Days

Today is a lazy day. I ran out of thread, it was delivered before I arrived at the shop this morning, returned to the sorting office and could not be collected for 3 hours. 3 hours came and I had customers to deal with so I didn't get to collect said thread. I am in limbo, no thread to continue embroidery and waiting on 50 gym bags to be delivered. So I sit here pondering, web searching, I could spend hours web searching, it's funny how one web site leads to thoughts which leads you to look for other things, nothing specific just reading and learning.

My husband has just texted to confirm he is back on nightshift next week, I am delighted. Delighted for a variety of reasons. The main reason, in honesty, is the money. Last May I decided we needed a holiday and since my husband has very kindly kept me for the last 3 years while I set this business up, he agreed we needed the holiday but I should pay for it. So without hesitation I went to the travel agent and booked for 20 June 2007. 6 weeks and 4 days away! At the time 13 months away, plenty of time to pay the holiday, save the spending money, buy the clothes etc.etc. and here we are, holiday paid, yes, spending money NO, clothes, NO! And poor hubby has been on dayshift for weeks earning basic wages. It's a struggle. I'm heading into my busy time with the uniforms and every year I learn more about business and hopefully I can go from strength to strength and start to take a regular wage every week.

People ask me how or more to the point why I continue for 3 years without a wage. But I have gone this far, there's no going back and I believe it can only get better, now that I have arranged with the suppliers to do embroidery, there is no end to the number of schools I can cater for in and around the local area.

The other reason I like nightshift is the fact I get the TV 'doofer' to myself, I get a double bed to myself, I have my own nightly routine with the kids and I get out of performing my 'wifely duty' for a few nights!

I'm now going to take my Friday trip to the bank and continue with my lazy day.

Spelling!

Just check my earlier post and my spelling was terrible. I do apologise. I'm not normally this bad!

Lost for words

Why is it when I sit down ready to put into words my thoughts, suddenly they are gone, I'm blank, lost for words! and then I start to type and it flows and I forget to stop...

After our disappointment on Sunday night with the cancellation of the Dancing on ice Tour, mum decided to take me out for dinner, which was great. Just her and I, lost in uninterupted adult conversation, well apart from the over attentive waiters, for a whole evening. Having not been out for a meal without either a husband or a child for a long time I was aware of the waiters attentiveness, is it always like this and I haven't noticed or was it because we were unaccompanied females, I'm not quite sure but I enjoyed it. Felt like me, Nicola, the person, the adult, I love being 'the wife' and 'mum' but just for those few hours I was ME and it was great.

On saying that I still mother my mother. She is, and would totally agreed, handless. Having just turned 60 my mother is still unable to stick a straw in a cartoon of juice without squiring the juice all over herself. When we got to McDonalds I put napkins down for the kids and lay the food out for them, while they do their own straws. I sit down and there sits mum, handless, not knowing how to deal with her 3 items on the tray, so there I go, lay the napkin, open the box, pour the chips into the lid of the box, put the tea in front of her and she is off and running. At least her intellegence makes up for her other inabilities!

I am working from home today. I call it my day off because I don't go to the shop, but I still spend the 6 hours the kids are at school dealing with business orientated things. Over the weekend we have taken 2 bookings for the bouncy castle and had a further 3 enquiries. I had a meeting yesterday with a supplier of school wear who also do embroidery, so I have decided to have most of my embroidery done at the suppliers for several reasons, the main reason being then I don't have to do it myself and the other benefits;

• I can spend more time with customers
• I can look at the possibility of employing a shop assistant
• I can get out and about drumming up business
• I can take on more schools

So on that note I better get on with it.